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Today's contributing author is the face of courage. She's lived in a place distant, desperate and scared. She's known what it feels like to be surrounded by loved ones and still so very alone and uncertain. Depression is all encompassing with its surreal physicality and heavy human form.
I have read her story several times before. It's not one of instantaneous darkness, but more of a feeling overwhelming like that of forever there in the capacity of your lungs. This woman has breathed that hurt. And through her courageous acts of honesty and commitment to claiming her best self time & again, I have watched her find sweetness and really live out His wonderful grace: both good & hard.
I am honored to have her a part of this October's month long celebration. She is a friend selfless, resourceful and wise. I am inspired by her will to reach for where her heart knows His care. Watching her not only rest, but thrive in this amazingly rich spot is light to so many lost & uncertain. It is with a holy courage she shines.
Please welcome Candace Crabtree to the blog.
Nearly 8 years ago a period of darkness entered my life that left me hopeless. I did not have hope that things would get better. I did not have hope that I would ever be a better mom for my kids. I did not have hope that anything - be that medication OR Jesus - could help me.
You can read more of my depression story here, but suffice it to say, prayer was the last thing on my mind. Most days I couldn't utter any words to God. It was as though my heart was mute. At first, I didn't know what depression was or that I might be struggling with it, but even after I started realizing something was very wrong, I had a hard time even saying the word "depression" out loud.
I was having trouble getting out of bed, much less thinking about my relationship with God. As far as I was concerned, God had abandoned me.
Months later, after admitting something was wrong, starting medication and attending counseling sessions with my husband, things began to look up for me. For the first time in months, there was a tiny glimmer of hope inside my heart. It was tiny, but the spark was there.
Through no act of my own, slowly, God began to speak ever so gently to me through His Word. I'm sure He was speaking all along, but the darkness in my soul was making it hard for me to hear. Through this time, my lifeline became the very Words of God. Words would literally jump off the page and straight into my heart. Verses of comfort filled my mind. The prayers of David in the Psalms contained phrases and prayers that I would write out, pray and cling to day in and day out.
I can't even remember now how it started, but at some point, the Words on the Page began to be the cries of my heart. The Scriptures I was reading, became the phrases I would cling to all day long. The prayers of our heroes of the faith became the prayers of my heart.
I was praying the Scriptures. And these prayers, these Scriptures, were changing my life.
Praying the very Words of God helped me to have the confidence that I was praying in alignment with God's Will. Praying the Words He gave us drew me close to His Heart. Those words, those prayers, they changed me.
5 Ways Praying the Scriptures Is Changing Me
1. The Word of God has become one of the greatest treasures of my life. Those prayers, cries of anguish and hope that David prayed all through the Psalms? They have become my own songs of praise and hope. They have become my own pleas and cries for help.
2. Meditating on phrases and verses out of Scripture helps me to stay focused on God through out my day. It helps me to do as Hebrews 12:1-2 mentions - to fix my eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of my faith. {Read more about how I use an index card spiral to write down these verses and pray them throughout the day.}
3. The Lord has used His Word to restore the joy of my salvation. In reading the psalmist's anguish, I came to see that I wasn't the only one in history that had struggled deeply. I knew I wasn't alone. He was restoring my joy through the reading and praying of His Words. Not only was He restoring my joy but He was restoring my joy IN HIM.
4. Restored hope. Back when depression set in, I really had no hope whatsoever when I woke up each morning. In fact, I began to dread even waking up because I knew the day would be so long and there would be no relief from the struggle. But, once I began spending moments, hours and days reading and even speaking aloud the Word of God, my hope slowly began to be restored.
5. My prayers for others have grown exponentially. Now that I have seen the power of praying the Scriptures in my own life, I pray them over everyone I know, my family, my pastors, anyone that asks me for prayer. When someone asks me to pray for them? I pray. Because I am so awesome? Not exactly. {grin} Because the grace of God has been so poured out over my own life that I must pray these words of power and truth over others as well! It's like I've been given my own little light and I just can't hide it under a bushel. I can pray with confidence for my loved ones because I am praying the words of God.
I hope these words encourage you, but more than anything I hope they inspire you to dig deep into the Word of God and find the treasure that He has there for you. If you'd like to join me in praying the Scriptures for our families, I have a current series on that topic going on now!
Hi, I'm Candace and I blog at His Mercy is New! I live in East Tennessee with my husband and 3 beautiful children. I started out blogging about our homeschooling adventures, but since starting that blog over 7 years ago, it has turned into more of a therapeutic journal of encouragement for myself and anyone struggling with depression or other hardship.
To open all 31 gifts in this month long celebration, visit here.