3 Ways to Love Well
When I was a little girl, my Dad-daddy used to say "Meg, love is how you look at it. Somedays it's a heart. Somedays it's an upside down butt. The choice is in what you see." As arduous and hard headed as my grandfather is to love at times, he couldn't have been more smack dab on the money with these words.
Valentine's Day. It's the infamous getyercandyinaheartshapedbox day. The day where estrogen whoops up something fierce gazing wild eyed and ferocious at her testosterone sideckick. It's like women go into some kind of ravenous frenzy much akin to Audrey II in Little Shop of Horrors. Yes, many of us Sherahs morph into the oversized blood thirsty plant with the desperate, obsessive need for overpriced roses, giant Snuffaluffagus sized teddy bears and sparkly objects that come from small velvet lined boxed with a hinge.
My freshman year in college I was this wildebeest. I circled February 14 on the calendar like a rabid dog. It was on my radar for every bit ALL of January. Oh, it would be divine and nothing short of it. Why, my first year away from home? Um, you better bet pupils would be in the shape of little hearts. I specifically remember the entire day. You see, I decided to take a trip to the local tanning bed to get my glow on. And when Sherry at Sherry's Tropical Tanning Salon asked me how long I would like to "lie" in the bed all while recommending me the initial 10 minute stay for newbies, why, I told her I wanted the FULL 30 minutes. Because, back then, {freak, I just said "back then"} tanning beds were da bomb. Full of cancer giving and wrinkle leathering, but to an 18 year old: DA BOMB. So, of course, all you seasoned tanners of the 90's know what happens when "pale Gayle" lies in the tanning bed for a FULL 30 minutes while the neon sign outside the establishment blinkity-blink boasts "NEW BULBS". I fried. Red and hot, my skin sizzled from within my organs. Walking hurt within a matter of minutes as I sashayed out of Sherry's shimmer shack.
Oh, but this Sherah puh-ressed on. I proceeded to drive to the nearby department store only to purchase a brand new pair of black panty hose with the tiniest little variegated netting pattern along with a red WOOL mini skirt. WOOL.Did you hear me? Mother of pearl, I chose WOOL. I will leave your imagination with the remaining details of this Valentine's Day. I can promise you this. It was nothing short of dreadful. But, you see, that's what we wildebeests women do, without realization, for this hallowed day set aside for Hallmark to get rich hearts to love.
So I'm a seasoned lover now. Yep, you can call me the Vanna White of Valentine's Day. I've flipped over the vowels and turned the consonants in my heels and sparkly gown of 2.14 for quite sometime. The tasmanian devil of my youth has been tamed. No more tanning beds. No more super impulsive riDONKulous decisions for the sake of this February day. For as much awesome as it can be, it never fails. A woman can always find a way to have made the celebration even more awesome. Not only do we pin our heart shaped honeys up to the donkey wall of DO...FOR ME...MAKE SPARKS FLY, SWEETIE! But we also secretly have this grade card of grandeur hidden in the elastic band of those wretched black panty hose with the tiny variegated netting. We get it out when he excuses himself to use the restroom from our candlelight dinners only to make notes and count stars. And when the night is through, we sleep with his report card clutched in our hands decorated with handwritten scribbles highlighted for his YEARLY IMPROVEMENT GOALS. And the worst part? We never even show him his score. There's much more to this upside down butt that my grandfather speaks of. Poor, poor fellas.
So, if you're here. And IF you've ever experienced an inkling of the above emotions. Be you single or married. STOP. And heed my Vanna White words in what follows. For far too many Valentine's Days have passed you by with the premature sunburns of love. Of what it means. Of why it's here. And what's it's for.
You have a fan club. We all do. A handful of groupies who are your gift. They support your label. They carry your membership card. They vote for you, time & again, in their closed curtained ballot box. You know who they are. Don't take them for granted. Love them. Love them something fantastic. Find out what makes them tick. Sit in who they are and soak up their love for you from the inside out.
Without a doubt, one of the best decisions I've ever made was choosing to love someone else with all I had. Not halfway or sorta. But like nothing else. And the more love I gave away, the better love I received. As each year passes, I learn more about what it means to give away. There's beauty precious in sharing the tiny delicate parts of your soul with ones who hold you dear. It's irreplaceable. It's vulnerable too.
But with the give, the mighty effort to push through life's upside down butts to find the heart, you grow better. Love does that to you.
It offers you a clearer look at what your best can really be. YOUR people do that for you. From the very beginning to the now, they offer you hope and help. It's making the decision to dive into life head first in the ones who have called you theirs.
It's reminding yourself that you are responsible for knowing your people like no one else. It's the hard days. The getthisdayoverwithones too. It's giving yourself each chance you get and getting up only to do it all over again. For the people in your camp are worth it. And the dividends you receive from this selfless act have no price tag.
Oftentimes, we get caught in the clumsiness of earth's crust. The shallow shift of life twists our whereabouts leaving us confused as to what we should be fighting for. Our people that's who. Hold them up. Treasure them. Be their champion. Find yourself in the cadence of waking up to love today like you've never done before. It's that kind of tenacity that brings honor. It's that kind of commitment that builds character and creates teams unstoppable through the fires and the frills that life hands us. Love your people.
Love yourself. In big ways, do this. You are the only person that you never leaves your side. Ever thought about that? Your walk on this earth is the who you are and the who you hope to be. So make the most of the uniquely created individual. Be mindful of the words you sell yourself. Make them positive. Be a steward of your heart. Have the kind of rapport with your soul that's sacred. Find the person who hangs out on your inside and ask them to come out & play.
It's a harder feat than most people realize. Tending to the heartstrings of you is, all to often, overlooked. It's stuffed in secret hideaway places for society's sake. It's cramped in dark corners waiting for space in your life's line up. Don't let that happen. Move out the clutter and take on the courage to pursue what makes your heart soar.
When you do what you love, you become strong. So.very.strong. And you know what? That strength is needed. Others find hope there. Others look up because they see that you can. Light becomes more golden and worth walking towards in this dark world when we share our strength. Find your light. For loving yourself makes loving others so much more beautiful and easy in the good times and the bad.
Lastly, love Him. Yes, Him. Without reservation and with all that you have, lose yourself in His story. For it is in His story, that yours began. He is the one who created the intricate details of you. He knows your hopes; he gave life to those hidden dreams inside you too. It's in Him where love began. The love that asked for nothing, and the love that will never fail. No, a life with Him does not give you the "Get Out Of Jail Free" card. But, it does give you infinite opportunities of collecting $200 when you pass GO. And He's the one who rolls your double when the time is just right for you to step out from behind those black bolted bars. In Him and with Him, you feel the grit & glory of what love is all about.
ewanee, TN Cross image credit: {here}
Valentine's Day. It's on upon us. So live it right. Make everyday your 2.14. Box up the freakin' black netted panty hose. LEAVE the red wool mini-shirt on the department store rack. Rabies shot yourself, you rabid Sherahs. Immunity from the hustle of Hallmark and Godiva chocolate heart shaped boxes is a good thing. For it's on this day set aside for hearts showing, we do ourselves the best favor by saying goodbye once and for all to the tanning bed of love leathered. And in that same exhaled breath, we welcome with open arms the love that lasts us best. Sorry, Sherry's Tropical Tanning Salon."Somedays it's a heart. Somedays it's an upside down butt. The choice is in what you see."
